A good hack bike is worth its weight in gold - or at least gold spray-paint
If you have a couple of cubic feet going spare in your house, garage, shed or car port, how about building up a hack bike?
Call it what you want - a town bike, hack bike, pub bike, beater, or skip-whip - there's no denying the zen-like peace of mind conferred by a ratty old bike that no-one wants to steal.
But there are other benefits, besides leaving the local crims shaking their heads in disgust. Having a workaday bike will save you cleaning, maintenance and the tragedy of returning to your beautiful shiny machine, to find out that the goon who locked their bike up next to it has put a tasty scratch on your nice shiny paintwork. And by adding dull but useful accessories like racks, lights and mudguards, you can turn your £50 warhorse into something that's actually more useful, and pleasant to ride round town, than your XTR-laden dream machine.
A quick disclaimer: some thieves are opportunists, and will steal anything they can get their hands on. No matter how cruddy your hack bike, it's never a good idea to leave it unattended or poorly secured. But if your bike is locked up next to some much nicer ones, or would require a bit of effort to steal, chances are it'll be left unmolested. Here's a quick guide to what to look out for from a practical bike:
Basics
There's no "ideal" bike for a hack, but in general, second hand, shabby and dirty is the way to go. A nice solid frame with mounts for bottle cages and clearance for mudguards is a good starting point. Some people think drop handlebars are a sure-fire theft deterrent, but given the current popularity of all forms of bicycle, and the steady stream of stolen road bikes reported here, I'm not so sure. They do make cycling into a headwind a bit more pleasant though.
A hack bike can be can be single speed, fixed wheel, 7-speed, 9-speed or even have hub gears. Wheels can be 26" (mountain bike), 700c, 20" (BMX and some folding bikes) or 27". If you're buildng up a bike from second hand parts, make sure they're compatible. For example, if you try and put 26" mountain bike wheels in a frame designed to take 700c road wheels, you'll end up using your tyres as the braking surface (not good), you'll smack your pedals on the ground every time you try and corner (not good) and it'll generally ride like a skittish cow (also not good).
In general, single speed or hub gear bikes are lower maintenance, and surprisingly practical for getting around. If you're going to use it to get the shopping in or tow a tagalong, a wider range of gears is a good idea.
For a proper workhorse that can carry your kid, your shopping and even your other bikes, you could get a cargo bike, such as a Yuba Mundo or a Kona Ute. They're relatively pricey, but the ridiculous haulage capacity makes them a potential alternative to a car.
With a fixed wheel bike you don't need to have a rear brake.
They're fun to ride - until you forget to pedal and it tries to rip your legs off.
Some older bikes may have compatibility problems with newer kit, which can make getting spares a problem or bump up the expense. A good guide to the different standards used in cycling for wheel sizes, headsets, dropout spacings and bottom brackets is Sheldon Brown.
Logos or brand names are a bad idea. As with designer clothing, a logo from an established brand adds perceived value to a product, which is handy if you want to steal it and flog it on eBay. So unless you happen to own a bike made by these unfortunately-named guys, remove the stickers or cover them up.
Forks and brakes
A set of Kona Project 2s will make your bike lighter and faster than a bike with suspension forks - really!
As expensive after-market upgrades in their own right, it's natural that these should be a draw for thieves. Even if they can't get your whole bike, it's not uncommon for thieves to strip choice parts and make off with them - all they need is a couple of allen keys. And if you're only going to use your bike around town, suspension and disc brakes are arguably unnecessary. Suspension, front or rear, will make your bike heavier and less efficient to pedal. There are performance advantages to disc brakes, but as long as you're not riding through rim-deep mud every day, other types work well too. Ditch them and your bike will be cheaper to buy and maintain, just as good to ride, and a lot less nickable.
Quick release levers
Quick release or QR levers make wheels and seats a matter of seconds to steal. That means locking up your wheels, and possibly even your saddle. QRs come as standard on so many bikes these days, that unless you have a dedicated town bike, a BMX or a singlespeed/fixie, chances are you'll be stuck with them.
One solution, if you don't want to change your hubs and seat clamp, is to get replacement quick release systems that require special tools to open. One of the best systems is made by Pitlock, who give you a bolt that can only be opened by a specific "key", of which there are 256 possible variations . There are also similar, cheaper systems made by companies such as Trans-X. Or for a no-budget solution, just loop a jubilee clip round your QR levers and your frame or forks, and do it up tight. All of these can still be defeated by someone who is appropriately tooled up, but they're still a darn sight more complicated than flipping a lever.
Tyres
Reflective sidewalls attract attention from drivers. A low-cut summery dress is optional.
Image from bikehugger.com
If you're riding purely on the road, you won't need knobbly tyres. In fact on hard surfaces like tarmac, the smoother the tyre the better - there's a good explanation of why on Sheldon Brown's site.
Commuter tyres often come with reflective sidewalls, which are handy in poor visibility, although they tend to get covered with grime pretty quickly if you're not picky about cleaning your bike.
If you're more concerned about reliable commuting than speed, puncture-resistant tyres such as Continental Gatorskins or Schwalbe Marathons are a good addition. They are a bit heavier than other tyres of the same quality, but puncture less often (although you still get the odd one). For ultimate bombproofness, Cyclelife on Stokes Croft sell Dutch town bike punctureproof tyres. These will make your nice nimble commuter feel like a tank, but if you're plagued by flats then they could be worth a try.
Bolt-ons
Mudguards can be beautiful, check out these hand-made creations from Fast Boy Cycles
If you've never used them before, a rack and pannier bags are a revelation. They are simply the best way to carry a heavy load, such as shopping, changes of clothes, locks, or even your bulky old work laptop. Your back won't get sweaty or groan under the strain, and your bike will fall another place down the fashion charts, making thieves less likely to go after it.
Mudguards are another practical addition that people seem to avoid like the plague, but for many people, including me, the joy of turning up at work with dry underpants is worth any amount of jeers. If your frame doesn't have mounts for mudguards you can get various clip-on versions, such as SKS Raceblades. If you've found a nice old frame and want something that won't spoil its looks, check out Gilles Berthoud stainless steel fenders - beautiful and bombproof.
Lights and reflectors are another essential for any self-respecting hack bike. You could go minimalist with a couple of Knog Frogs or bodge something out of an LED torch. For riding in unlit areas, something with a 1W LED or 5W halogen bulb will let you see where you're going as well. You could even go with a dynamo system and never worry about batteries again. Shimano do some cheap hub dynamos, or the daddy of them all is a Schmidt. Expensive, but chances are most thieves won't know what it is...
